For a while, I was feeling guilty. Guilty that I wasn't volunteering here and there. I'm not active in a church ministry, and actually haven't been since Sam was born. I am a co-coordinator for MOPS, but that term is coming to an end in just a few months. I've been very diligent about saying no to things because what we really don't need is for me to say "yes" to more. I help out as much as possible with my kids' sports and, of course, we homeschool. I'll gladly pitch in on something very short term when help is needed and I know we're available.
In the midst of that guilt, God really spoke to me. It's so very ok that at this stage of my life that I'm not involved in much outside ministry. I have a big ministry right here at home, and it's about to grow even more by the (official) end of summer. My husband and children are my focus, and it's ok that nothing else is topping that. Pouring into my family, ensuring they are growing spiritually, staying healthy, and getting a good education are my calling right now. I have ideas in my head of things I'd love to do, but I know that the season for that will come. Right now, I'm going to turn away from the guilt that nags when volunteers are needed and I don't feel the urge to say yes. I would never turn down an opportunity that God led me to, even if I think it means I'll be too busy. I will be sure though, that He is leading me there, and not my "Oh but I probably should" thoughts.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
The heart of a child
You never know how sheltered your child is...until they are met with "how the other half lives."
Now, usually, that makes us think of the time our kid went to visit a friend who seems to have so much more stuff. But today, it was the opposite experience. Ben (5 1/2) needed information on a missionary for his Awana book. He asked if I actually knew one. So, I showed him Luke & Sarah's website, and we watched the video. He was completely stunned. I saw the tears come as we talked about how some of those children lived each day. He weighed in his mind just how much he has in comparison. He told me that he feels really lucky to live here. He doesn't understand why those children have to live that way. Why don't they all have nice clothes? Why don't they all have lots of food? Why isn't that man sleeping in a bed? Those can't really be homes, can they Mom?
It raised a lot of questions, and now he's off playing. But I keep catching him lost in thought, and I can tell by his face where his mind has gone. I'm sure there are more questions coming. I think this is a lot for his little mind to process, and over time we'll explore what he wants to know.
We've spent time at Christmas telling the boys that they should give much of what they already have away before getting new things. But I think they really don't understand just how blessed we are in comparison to some other families. I'm realizing more and more that it's ok to show them the harsh reality of the world. They don't need to be a particular age to get it, and more likely, they'll get it better now than as a teenager or an adult.
Now, usually, that makes us think of the time our kid went to visit a friend who seems to have so much more stuff. But today, it was the opposite experience. Ben (5 1/2) needed information on a missionary for his Awana book. He asked if I actually knew one. So, I showed him Luke & Sarah's website, and we watched the video. He was completely stunned. I saw the tears come as we talked about how some of those children lived each day. He weighed in his mind just how much he has in comparison. He told me that he feels really lucky to live here. He doesn't understand why those children have to live that way. Why don't they all have nice clothes? Why don't they all have lots of food? Why isn't that man sleeping in a bed? Those can't really be homes, can they Mom?
It raised a lot of questions, and now he's off playing. But I keep catching him lost in thought, and I can tell by his face where his mind has gone. I'm sure there are more questions coming. I think this is a lot for his little mind to process, and over time we'll explore what he wants to know.
We've spent time at Christmas telling the boys that they should give much of what they already have away before getting new things. But I think they really don't understand just how blessed we are in comparison to some other families. I'm realizing more and more that it's ok to show them the harsh reality of the world. They don't need to be a particular age to get it, and more likely, they'll get it better now than as a teenager or an adult.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
It's been awhile
Life has been beyond crazy and busy lately. And if you glance at my calendar, you'd see it's not getting better any time soon. The great thing is that, with the exception of work commitments for Aaron, all things on the calendar are there by choice, and are something we enjoy. So, at least it's not laden with burden.
I've been feeling pretty down the past several days too. I've been feeling like a group killer. A few years back, I took over a mommy playgroup at our old church when my friend moved away. It didn't take long before it was dead, and it was quite apparent I was trying to breathe life into something that just wasn't coming back. I feel like the same is happening in another group now. I love these women, and what this group means for so many. It breaks my heart to see it faltering. We're meeting to discuss the future today, and I worry. What does worry do anyhow, besides give me more gray hair? It just grieves me to think that unless God breathes new life into the group, like he did in Ezekiel, it may be beyond help. Aaron has been reassuring me that it's not that I am the problem. Sometimes groups have a season. He helped me recognize how so many women moved on right after I joined the group even (not just when I became one of the leaders) because of the age of their children. And we live in such a consumer society. People just don't want to pour into something to get something back. People in general feel so drained already by life that there often isn't much more to give back. But now, the 20% who are doing 80% of the work are now completely drained. I've seen it with what my dad deals with in a junior rifle club I grew up in. When I was a kid shooting there, most parents had some form of active involvement. No one just got dropped off and left. Now? It's like free babysitting. The few coaches that are there are left with most of the work. When we'd go to national championships in Ohio, 30 kids would go and their parents often would as well. Now? Not so much.
On a much brighter note, we celebrated Drew's birthday this week! I can't believe my boy is 8 now. We started with Monster Jam on Sunday. It was awesome and the kids had a great time. We spent his birthday morning at Chuck E Cheese (note to self: check the local school calendar first...Prince William was closed, and that place was worse than a Saturday!!). Drew is very excited about his Lego store gift certificate and the tickets to Casting Crowns. All the birthday celebrating got Ben to open up and say he doesn't want to go to Yogi for camping this year for his birthday. He'd rather just go to CEC too. Umm...ok kid, that'll save us a boatload of cash! He said he'd rather have regular presents than vacation. I think we can handle that.
One last parting thought....
I've been feeling pretty down the past several days too. I've been feeling like a group killer. A few years back, I took over a mommy playgroup at our old church when my friend moved away. It didn't take long before it was dead, and it was quite apparent I was trying to breathe life into something that just wasn't coming back. I feel like the same is happening in another group now. I love these women, and what this group means for so many. It breaks my heart to see it faltering. We're meeting to discuss the future today, and I worry. What does worry do anyhow, besides give me more gray hair? It just grieves me to think that unless God breathes new life into the group, like he did in Ezekiel, it may be beyond help. Aaron has been reassuring me that it's not that I am the problem. Sometimes groups have a season. He helped me recognize how so many women moved on right after I joined the group even (not just when I became one of the leaders) because of the age of their children. And we live in such a consumer society. People just don't want to pour into something to get something back. People in general feel so drained already by life that there often isn't much more to give back. But now, the 20% who are doing 80% of the work are now completely drained. I've seen it with what my dad deals with in a junior rifle club I grew up in. When I was a kid shooting there, most parents had some form of active involvement. No one just got dropped off and left. Now? It's like free babysitting. The few coaches that are there are left with most of the work. When we'd go to national championships in Ohio, 30 kids would go and their parents often would as well. Now? Not so much.
On a much brighter note, we celebrated Drew's birthday this week! I can't believe my boy is 8 now. We started with Monster Jam on Sunday. It was awesome and the kids had a great time. We spent his birthday morning at Chuck E Cheese (note to self: check the local school calendar first...Prince William was closed, and that place was worse than a Saturday!!). Drew is very excited about his Lego store gift certificate and the tickets to Casting Crowns. All the birthday celebrating got Ben to open up and say he doesn't want to go to Yogi for camping this year for his birthday. He'd rather just go to CEC too. Umm...ok kid, that'll save us a boatload of cash! He said he'd rather have regular presents than vacation. I think we can handle that.
One last parting thought....
Romans 15:13
New International Version (NIV)
13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
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